It’s been a while since I’ve really written anything here, and I hate when that happens because I don’t know where or even how to start to catch up on everything.

I’ll never know what possessed me to write a book while also pursuing a graduate degree, but it is what it is. The book has sort of taken a life of its own, and I’m so excited to be able to share it with you soon. Regarding school, I plan to complete my master’s by mid-2013 unless I accelerate the schedule a bit, which is bound to happen eventually. I thought I was ready for school again, but with everything else going on around me I couldn’t have picked a worse time. Again, it is what it is.

♫ Post Title Soundtrack: The Chemical Brothers — “Where Do I Begin”

I’ve spent the last few days in bed. I’m not sure whether it was the start of the flu, but now that I have antibiotics I’m feeling much better and know I needed this time to rest despite what’s going on at work.

That’s one of the hardest things for me to do, though, because there’s always something for me to do. But my friend helped me realize I can’t continue working myself to no end without resting or taking time to at least enjoy the fruits of my labor.

She told me: “God has you, so don’t overwork your body. He’ll supply your every need. Take time to enjoy life and what God has given you.”

It’s not as if I didn’t already know that. Sometimes, we just get caught up that we lose sight of a few things, but it’s great to have someone help you find your way and figure out what you should be doing.

For me, that means organizing and prioritizing projects appropriately so it’s not as if I’m always working and committing myself to take some time for me each week. What good is having anything at all if you never take or make the time to enjoy it?

♫ Post Title Soundtrack: Pink — “You Make Me Sick”

Being 6’5” and 280 pounds would be great if I were a football player, but I’m not. And although I’ve lost over 35 pounds, I’m still not satisfied. That’s why I’m kicking my weight loss routine into high gear as I shed the remaining unwanted pounds.

Following Drew Manning’s transformation to help people go from being fat to fit is truly inspiring. It’s just a shame Thanksgiving is right around the corner; somebody pray for me!

♫ Post Title Soundtrack: Heston — “Brand New You”

I’m deactivating Netflix soon since I won’t have a lot of time to utilize it over the next few months.

Would you happen to have any suggestions/recommendations I should check out before I do so?

Cee Lo Green’s “Fool for You” came on, and I couldn’t help but sing along. It’s my favorite song from his album, The Lady Killer, and while we serenaded our respective Yous for whom we’re fools, it hit me that I interviewed the man less than a year ago.

I can’t really say that I had completely forgotten about it since all it took was hearing his song to jog my memory, but it’s not exactly something I think about a lot. Then again, the same thing happens with most of the things I’ve written and the people I’ve been fortunate to meet.

I’ve learned that humility helps promote further success and achievements in all we do, and I consider it an honor and privilege to be able to do what I do.

In 2009, I received an email from a spoken word artist in the UK by the name of Suli Breaks, who was hoping to have his video posted on Concrete Loop. We went back and forth, as I wasn’t sure whether it would be of interest but passed it along to Angel who published his R.I.P. piece. I admired his persistence (that’s a major component of the entertainment industry) and was glad he got some exposure.

Fast-forward to a few days ago, and I get another email from Suli about a piece he thinks may be of interest to me. Turns out, it was the perfect re-introduction to the history spotlights feature. When I emailed to tell him so, he remarked that it would be an “honour!!”

That made my day.

I don’t do what I do for a false sense of fame; I do it because I love being able to inform, educate, entertain and inspire. I lost sight of this at some point, but it’s a great thing that I didn’t completely forget it.

♫ Post Title Soundtrack: Michael McDonald — “I Keep Forgettin’”

It recently hit me that I haven’t been doing all I need to do to succeed. I think I took the whole “lighten up” thing a bit too far, as it feels like I’ve been just taking it easy.

Sure, we all need some down time, and it’s not as if I’ve been completely stagnant. After all, I accomplished a major success at work and completed my first graduate course with an A. But one success does not excuse you from reaching others, and my second class is already in session.

It’s easy to see just how complacent I’ve become and know exactly what I need to do to get things back on track. Fortunately, I surround myself with individuals who motivate me as well as hold me accountable. It’s easy to do what needs to be done to be successful, and it’s easy not to do it; the choice is yours.

No one said it would be easy, but I never imagined myself going this hard. It’s time again to go hard.

♫ Post Title Soundtrack: Anoushka Shankar & Karsh Kale — “Easy” (ft. Norah Jones)

After a while, you become desensitized to the news media. Nothing even surprises you anymore, — “Oh. They did that? Okay.” — and it’s sad because it shows you the world in which we live.

♫ Post Title Soundtrack: Jack Johnson — “Bad News”

This week has been hell.

Between life and work, it’s been hard dealing with trying times and devastating news, but I managed knowing I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

The moment that hit me, though, I was instantly reminded: it could always be worse.

We tend to focus so much on the negativity when it strikes, yet we lose sight of all the positive things in our lives that often outweigh it. The bad things that happen make the great things all the more special, and everything truly happens for a reason.

While we can’t possibly begin to fathom God’s reasoning or question His judgment, what we can do is thank Him for allowing us to maintain, endure and hopefully find the positive in every trial and tribulation with which we’re faced.

These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
— John 16:33

♫ Post Title Soundtrack: Jill Scott — “Blessed”

“In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” — Proverbs 3:6

♫ Post Title Soundtrack: John Coltrane — “A Love Supreme Part 1: Acknowledgement”

These last few months have been a beast, and while I could easily focus on the negativity and wallow in self-pity (and/or familial-pity, as it were), I have to concentrate on the positivity. It’s as if I’m living a dream.

That’s not to say that my life is perfect or that I don’t have problems. Trust me, it’s not and I do. But I realized after my Twitterview with David Banner that I’m very fortunate to be able to do what I love, have a strong support system and know that, regardless of what I may be going through, things could always be much worse.

Today, of all days, truly resonates that message.

“This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.”
— Psalm 118:24

♫ Post Title Soundtrack: Acoustic Alchemy — “Only in My Dreams”

“Never reveal all of yourself to other people;
hold back something in reserve so that people are never quite sure if they really know you.”
— Michael Korda

I was reminded of this by the lovely afrobella, who Twittered about the openness we bloggers should expect (or is expected of us).

I made a conscious decision a long time ago that I would become a somewhat enigmatic character, even choosing a pen name, J. Dakar, because at the time I didn’t want any issue if my students (or their parents) found something I had written a bit inappropriate. Granted, a former employer once found some of my erotica, but that’s another story for another time.

It’s funny, though, how things have played out since I became a “blogger”. My first foray into web writing was an online journal my online friend Jojo hosted for me at her domain, bornhated.com. I must have been 14 or 15 at the time and used the space to chronicle my life (how interesting that must have been) and showcase my coding and graphic design skills. Ha! I even considered myself a web designer with a handful of clients and offered my services to non-profit organizations after launching my first web company, jh-media.com, in early 1999. Before long, though, I had grown tired of having my personal space hosted by someone else and branched out on my own…sorta.

Two more of my online friends* really hooked me up: Nicole of blazed-up.net (and many other domains) gave me my first domain, and Sheik provided hosting for it. I set up my “personal online residence” at c0nflict.net, which, in addition to the journal I’d previously had, also included a few of my “words and rhymes”, under the pseudonym XIX which led to a college paper titled “Xamining I Xistence”. I suppose a therapist reading that might identify the early stages of a dissociative identity disorder I might have alternating between J. Dakar in the online world and Jeff Holley in the offline one. While I know mental health is no laughing matter, I am kidding about the dual personas; it’s just proven to be most advantageous to be able to separate the two. But not always; for example, when Angel and I attended the first ever African-American Online Summit, my nameplate read my legal name, but I was not about to protest. I just bet there were other attendees thinking, “Who is this guy?”

*As an aside, I promise I had friends in real life way back when. It’s just that it was so much easier to share things with someone who didn’t know you before they read anything you had written.

For the past few years, I’ve done a pretty good job at never revealing all of myself. But I’m about to fail miserably at it with the completion of my first novel, Never Been in Love. I’ve shared the Keith Miller quote that “No gentleman ever discusses any relationship with a lady,” but this story needs to be told.

Using myself as the central character, I explore the young, male psyche in regards to love and relationships. I’m by no means a relationship expert, but I hope my experiences (both good and bad) can help you with yours and offer a chuckle or two. I’ll be sharing a chapter in the coming weeks, and to my exes who still read everything I write, rest assured all names and locations will be changed to protect your identities (and in the case of the married woman, my own).

♫ Post Title Soundtrack: Gnarls Barkley — “Open Book”