Time spent organizing my closet also served as an opportunity for reflection. I firmly believe that everyone who comes into your life serves a purpose, but that doesn’t mean they will hold a place there forever.

I’ve learned so much about myself over the last couple of years, but it hasn’t come without help from others around me. One of my most enlightening experiences came from a now ex-girlfriend. You know how people say that someone close to them made them a better person? Well, she was that someone for me…but because of the way things ended I never got the chance to tell her. That is, until I emailed her thanking her for the profound impact she had on my life.

Why didn’t I call her? The last time we spoke was a disaster, and I didn’t need or want to hear her voice. I’ve never been one to rekindle old flames, so that certainly wasn’t an issue; I just wanted to say what I needed to say and go on about my day. I intentionally wrote the email with no need for a response from her, and given the fact that she and I were/are so much alike, I don’t expect one.

While our relationship ended abruptly and I’ve since moved on (as I hope she has, as well), I’m forever grateful for our time together and simply having known her.

♫ Post Title Soundtrack: Eminem — “Cleaning Out My Closet”

This time of year is always bittersweet for me with my birthday and the anniversary of my best friend’s death. It’s generally a time for reflection as I contemplate the past year and the future one’s hopes and aspirations.

So much has happened over this last year—some good, some bad, but all worthwhile to keep me striving for success. Over the last few months, I’ve failed to take the time to reflect on all that’s going on in my life so this time of year couldn’t have come at a better time.

Until I sit down and actually think about it, I don’t realize all that’s going on with me because I’ve come to accept it for what it is and choose not to dwell on it. Having two careers while also pursuing a master’s degree, though, is a challenge, but I’m maintaining. I don’t have a lot of free time, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make for the time being. I’ve postponed the books I’ve been working on until I complete graduate school, but I REALLY want to start writing more personally again.

I miss the days when I could just write…granted, those days are what helped me get to this point in my life, but back then it was so easy to just sit down and write stream of consciousness. I wrote nearly daily with little or no regard for censorship, but that was before I became “J. Dakar”.

Angel and I had a conversation a few months ago about this, and I realized that the more I write professionally the less I tend to do so personally. Although I’ve always been a bit enigmatic, I’ve become much more guarded with what I share because I’d like to retain a bit of myself for those closest to me. In addition, J. Dakar is a brand, and I’m very conscious about what I project and don’t want to jeopardize the brand in any way. In fact, a top PR firm recently reached out to me in an effort to see how interested I might be in offering them an opportunity to assist me, and I know it’s partly because of the job I’ve done thus far managing my image.

I can no longer use that as an excuse for not writing, though. Over the years, I’ve become quite adept at saying what I want or need to say without saying too much. I just haven’t made the time to write from a more personal aspect. I’ve mentioned how writing has been my catharsis; I think it’s time I get back to that…

♫ Post Title Soundtrack: Bilal — “Restart”

It’s been a while since I’ve really written anything here, and I hate when that happens because I don’t know where or even how to start to catch up on everything.

I’ll never know what possessed me to write a book while also pursuing a graduate degree, but it is what it is. The book has sort of taken a life of its own, and I’m so excited to be able to share it with you soon. Regarding school, I plan to complete my master’s by mid-2013 unless I accelerate the schedule a bit, which is bound to happen eventually. I thought I was ready for school again, but with everything else going on around me I couldn’t have picked a worse time. Again, it is what it is.

♫ Post Title Soundtrack: The Chemical Brothers — “Where Do I Begin”

I’ve spent the last few days in bed. I’m not sure whether it was the start of the flu, but now that I have antibiotics I’m feeling much better and know I needed this time to rest despite what’s going on at work.

That’s one of the hardest things for me to do, though, because there’s always something for me to do. But my friend helped me realize I can’t continue working myself to no end without resting or taking time to at least enjoy the fruits of my labor.

She told me: “God has you, so don’t overwork your body. He’ll supply your every need. Take time to enjoy life and what God has given you.”

It’s not as if I didn’t already know that. Sometimes, we just get caught up that we lose sight of a few things, but it’s great to have someone help you find your way and figure out what you should be doing.

For me, that means organizing and prioritizing projects appropriately so it’s not as if I’m always working and committing myself to take some time for me each week. What good is having anything at all if you never take or make the time to enjoy it?

♫ Post Title Soundtrack: Pink — “You Make Me Sick”

Being 6’5” and 280 pounds would be great if I were a football player, but I’m not. And although I’ve lost over 35 pounds, I’m still not satisfied. That’s why I’m kicking my weight loss routine into high gear as I shed the remaining unwanted pounds.

Following Drew Manning’s transformation to help people go from being fat to fit is truly inspiring. It’s just a shame Thanksgiving is right around the corner; somebody pray for me!

♫ Post Title Soundtrack: Heston — “Brand New You”

I’m deactivating Netflix soon since I won’t have a lot of time to utilize it over the next few months.

Would you happen to have any suggestions/recommendations I should check out before I do so?

Cee Lo Green’s “Fool for You” came on, and I couldn’t help but sing along. It’s my favorite song from his album, The Lady Killer, and while we serenaded our respective Yous for whom we’re fools, it hit me that I interviewed the man less than a year ago.

I can’t really say that I had completely forgotten about it since all it took was hearing his song to jog my memory, but it’s not exactly something I think about a lot. Then again, the same thing happens with most of the things I’ve written and the people I’ve been fortunate to meet.

I’ve learned that humility helps promote further success and achievements in all we do, and I consider it an honor and privilege to be able to do what I do.

In 2009, I received an email from a spoken word artist in the UK by the name of Suli Breaks, who was hoping to have his video posted on Concrete Loop. We went back and forth, as I wasn’t sure whether it would be of interest but passed it along to Angel who published his R.I.P. piece. I admired his persistence (that’s a major component of the entertainment industry) and was glad he got some exposure.

Fast-forward to a few days ago, and I get another email from Suli about a piece he thinks may be of interest to me. Turns out, it was the perfect re-introduction to the history spotlights feature. When I emailed to tell him so, he remarked that it would be an “honour!!”

That made my day.

I don’t do what I do for a false sense of fame; I do it because I love being able to inform, educate, entertain and inspire. I lost sight of this at some point, but it’s a great thing that I didn’t completely forget it.

♫ Post Title Soundtrack: Michael McDonald — “I Keep Forgettin’”

It recently hit me that I haven’t been doing all I need to do to succeed. I think I took the whole “lighten up” thing a bit too far, as it feels like I’ve been just taking it easy.

Sure, we all need some down time, and it’s not as if I’ve been completely stagnant. After all, I accomplished a major success at work and completed my first graduate course with an A. But one success does not excuse you from reaching others, and my second class is already in session.

It’s easy to see just how complacent I’ve become and know exactly what I need to do to get things back on track. Fortunately, I surround myself with individuals who motivate me as well as hold me accountable. It’s easy to do what needs to be done to be successful, and it’s easy not to do it; the choice is yours.

No one said it would be easy, but I never imagined myself going this hard. It’s time again to go hard.

♫ Post Title Soundtrack: Anoushka Shankar & Karsh Kale — “Easy” (ft. Norah Jones)

After a while, you become desensitized to the news media. Nothing even surprises you anymore, — “Oh. They did that? Okay.” — and it’s sad because it shows you the world in which we live.

♫ Post Title Soundtrack: Jack Johnson — “Bad News”

This week has been hell.

Between life and work, it’s been hard dealing with trying times and devastating news, but I managed knowing I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

The moment that hit me, though, I was instantly reminded: it could always be worse.

We tend to focus so much on the negativity when it strikes, yet we lose sight of all the positive things in our lives that often outweigh it. The bad things that happen make the great things all the more special, and everything truly happens for a reason.

While we can’t possibly begin to fathom God’s reasoning or question His judgment, what we can do is thank Him for allowing us to maintain, endure and hopefully find the positive in every trial and tribulation with which we’re faced.

These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
— John 16:33

♫ Post Title Soundtrack: Jill Scott — “Blessed”

“In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” — Proverbs 3:6

♫ Post Title Soundtrack: John Coltrane — “A Love Supreme Part 1: Acknowledgement”