Dec 11

Times Like These

It’s been a while since I’ve made time to sit down and just write. These days it’s because of a job or a project, not so much the source of expression it once was. But I’m on a mission to make writing my catharsis again, one of many I’ve embarked upon over the last few weeks.

Words can’t describe the year that I’ve had, and I have a feeling the best is yet to come. I can’t help but think of a time when I didn’t, and it wasn’t, though.

I recently came across an old text file I created nearly a decade ago, “3000 Things to Do Before Turning 30”. While I’ve always been a bit ambitious, the list contained nowhere near 3000 items. Instead it offered a starting point as a guideline for the kind of man I wanted to become.

The topics ranged from the mundane, like watch a sunrise and bake a cake, to perhaps a bit overzealous by setting foot on all seven continents and going 24 hours without using a computer. There are things on the list I’ve done: visit Disney World and learn to develop my own film, things I’ve attempted — learn at least three languages — and even more things I still hope to do one day: start piano lessons again and experience fatherhood, among them.

Looking at that list really brought back some memories of my teenage self. It also brought tears to my eyes as I realized I could have been one of these young, black males and thanked God for letting me see these 26 years thus far.

I made another digital discovery involving my life plans:

in five years i will have received my undergrad degree, a b.a. in business administration with a minor in political science. hopefully by then, i will have established my philanthropic efforts a bit more and working on building my investment portfolio.

within the next ten-twenty, i hope to have my mba/jd, running an up-and-coming media firm with a number of subsidiaries that include a clothing line, magazine, record label, radio & television stations. by then, my name should be well-established and i may even venture into politics. if not, i will spend quite a bit of time campaigning for those who possess similar beliefs.

as far as relationships go, i have no idea how i want that to turn out. i wouldn’t mind having someone to share my success with, but if that means i never spend any time with her what’s the use? all i know for sure is that whatever’s meant to be, will be.

I told you I was ambitious, but I failed to mention how naïve I was back then. That was written before I suffered a pancreatitis attack so severe that I was forced to medically withdraw from college in the spring of 2006.

During my time away from school I then realized that I could make all the plans I wanted to make, but they would not supersede God’s plans for me just as I couldn’t go through with my plans for committing suicide.

I now have no need for the life lists, guides and plans these days. I’ve made a point since the attack not to stress about the little things or pretty much anything for that matter.

Whatever’s meant to be, will be.

♫ Post Title Soundtrack: Foo Fighters — “Times Like These”